Dawn Proctor’s past with her son has helped her to empathize with the growing unrest over police brutality across the country that stemmed from the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis.
I have this experience to compare it to- Colin* was visiting me, he was on probation, there was a knock on the door, four fully out-fitted sheriffs complete with guns and batons were there looking for Colin and put handcuffs on him right in the living room, which was something I had not seen before,” she said.
It turned out Colin had missed a phone call with his probation officer, which was a parole violation.
“It was a show of force that was completely unnecessary in relation to the problem,” she said. “I believe from my experience that there is an overreaction that takes place. I asked them ‘do you really need to send four sheriffs? And they said we usually send more.”
She acknowledged the police are overworked and stretched too thin to deal with social issues, but said training should be in place to diffuse rather than escalate situations. The recent death of Rayshard Brooks in Atlanta, who was killed at the hands of a police officer for becoming agitated while drunk, resonates with Dawn.
“Would I have wanted my son killed because he was drunk?,” she asked….”Police departments are unable and do not have the resources to treat addicts.”
She now spends some of her time in retirement lobbying legislators for prison reform and for re-allocating funds towards treatment. “The outcome for untreated addicts are jails, institutions or death,” she said, “but there are no longer institutions where people can go for indefinite help and it is estimated that 75% of people in jail are in there for drug-related crimes.”
She is excited by calls for rethinking the role of police in communities.
“I’m so glad this is happening, this wave, there’s so many related issues,” she said. “It’s going to have to require a big financial reworking on the local, state and federal levels to end privately run prisons, but I feel the energy and it’s encouraging.”
Neal Patten can be contacted at neal.patten@wcinet.com.
New book details son’s battle with alcoholism, addiction
Neal Patten Unified Newspaper Group
June 18,2020
“Heartbreaking…When your child is an addict” is a new book by… author Dawn Bedore Proctor
An author’s decades-long battle saving her son from his drug and alcohol addiction is the heart of her new book published in March.
Dawn Bedore Proctor, in “Heartbreaking…When Your Child is an addict,” tells the story of her son, Colin*, who had a skateboarding accident when he was 12. That accident landed him in the hospital, where Proctor first learned why the incident occurred. Colin had been blackout drunk, doctors told her. That came as a shock, she said, as it had been his first time drinking as far as she was aware.
“Heartbreaking…When Your Child is an Addict,” follows Colin’s journey to recovery through the age of 30. In that time, Colin’s addiction expanded beyond alcohol and he started dealing drugs, Dawn said. That led to gang violence, where members circled Dawn’s house and threw bricks through her windows. They also broke Colin’s jaw, Dawn said, so badly he had to have his mouth wired shut. Colin also faced repeated encounters with law enforcement.
Dawn is not only a writer, but also an artist, and illustrated the cover of the book using pieces of letters she got from her son while he was in prison due to crimes related to his alcoholism.
She has used Colin’s story to advocate for prison reform and educate others about overcoming addiction. And she continues to help her son with his struggles.
“The information that I learned, the experiences I had, if it helped even one person feel understood, it would all be worth it,” Dawn said of the impetus to write the book. “I really wanted to help parents in similar situations.”
Dawn, a recovering alcoholic herself who has been sober for 35 years, said she has to come to the conclusion that there is nothing a parent can do if their child is an addict unless the child wants to help themselves.
“Once my son was born, I knew I had the right to screw up my life, but I didn’t have the right to screw up his,” she said. “I became determined to become sober. I was committed and highly motivated because I was afraid I would lose him.”
Proctor said that alcoholism is typically the result of a genetic predisposition and a triggering event. She says her first husband, Colin’s biological father, was a drug addict and dealer and went to jail, and Colin followed in his exact footsteps.
“You can inform children that they are predisposed and will not be able to use alcohol recreationally like others,” she said. “Once you find out your child is addicted, it becomes a soupy mess- arrest, drug treatment, arrest, drug treatment, the cycle goes on and on.”
How Colin followed in his father’s footsteps was evidenced in getting involved in drug dealing, which began to directly affect his mother’s life, Dawn said.
“He started to deal drugs – which is not unusual – but the problem with that, he did most of the drugs he was supposed to sell. He became in debt and became paranoid,” she said.
The gang he belonged to circled her house and synchronized throwing bricks through all the windows of the house at once.
In another instance, the gang broke Colin’s jaw and videotaped it, and he had to have his jaw wired shut for six weeks.
“He just about went crazy because he was trying to get high, so he was running around panicked trying to remove the wires,” Dawn said.
Still, Dawn said she is determined to use her son’s story to make a positive impact on others who have faced struggles similar to his.
She said that she finds there’s still a stigma to having a drug addict or alcoholic in your family that people don’t talk about it except to close friends or family.
“Alcohol is so socially accepted in society people don’t realize how damaging it is. People don’t talk about it, that’s a problem,” she said. “Addiction is a terminal disease. A lot of us know people who have died from drinking or drinking-related causes. Frankly, I want to see more family members come forward and ask for help.”
Proctor has sent copies of the book to police officers, social workers and school counselors, hoping to inform anyone interested in learning more about teenage addiction and provide them with resources.
“The story of all the institutions and people I encountered along the way of a 20-year saga of trying to save my son’s life from the disease of addiction, that was my biggest motivation to write this book,” Proctor said. “I wanted to walk people through what turned out to be an addicted child and say ‘look what I am going through,’ it has a reverberation, like ripples in a pond.
*an alias
Neal Patten, Community Reporter, can be contacted at neal.patten@wcinet.com.
“Heartbreaking…When Your Child Is an Addict”
by Dawn Bedore Proctor
40 million Americans ages 12 and older have substance abuse problems.* Alcohol is the most widely used substance of abuse among America’s youth.**
MADISON, Wis. (March 6, 2020) – With teen addiction rates at an all-time high, almost everyone has a friend, neighbor or co-worker who struggles as the parent of a teenage addict. “Heartbreaking…When Your Child Is an Addict,” the new book by Madison-area author Dawn Bedore Proctor, is intensely personal. It tells the true story of her twenty-year struggle to cope with her teenage son’s alcohol and drug addiction. The author shares her journey through the varied institutions that make up our national attempt to address this burgeoning health crisis.
“A moving account of any parent’s nightmare told through excruciatingly small details that slowly give shape to a far larger, heartbreaking story.”
— Joel McNally, former Milwaukee Journal reporter and columnist
“Heartbreaking” illuminates the challenges met by millions of American parents, grandparents and guardians. The book will be relevant to families, educators, professionals, politicians and anyone touched by the field of drug and alcohol abuse. It also addresses mental health treatment and the criminal justice system, all too familiar concerns in today’s America.
Proctor says, “People don’t want to talk about it. It’s embarrassing. There are so few resources to validate a parent’s experience. I hope the book provides support and understanding to other parents confronted with this potentially fatal disease.”
Dawn Bedore Proctor writes under the pen name of Dawn P. in the tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous. She is a life-long resident of Wisconsin and a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Proctor is the recipient of several writing awards from the Wisconsin Writer’s Association, including First Place Jade Ring Award. She has one son.
This short but intense 75-page book is available in print or as an e-book anywhere books are sold. Proctor is available for interviews and presentations regarding her experiences and book.
*Center on Addiction, national non-profit: https://www.centeronaddiction.org/newsroom/media-kit
**National Institute on Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/underage-drinking-0